Weddings at St. Paul's
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage and thank you for considering celebrating it at St. Paul’s! In Marriage, otherwise known as Holy Matrimony, two people enter into a lifelong union, make their vows before God and the Church, and receive the grace and blessing of God to help them fulfill their vows. We believe that marriage is a sacred, lifelong covenant, made in the presence of God and the community of faith. In the Episcopal Church, marriage is available to both same-gender and different-gender couples.
We invite you to read our complete Wedding Policy for full details, including fees for all services, or contact our Parish Office with any questions.
Who can be married at St. Paul's?
In the Episcopal Church marriage is available to both same-gender and different-gender couples. The canons of the Episcopal Church require that at least one member of the couple be a baptized Christian. Remarriage after divorce is permitted in the Episcopal Church, provided the officiant has applied for and been granted permission by the Office of the Bishop. This process can take up to 6 weeks, so it is important to plan accordingly. In cases of remarriage be prepared to show proof of legal divorce. We believe that marriage is a sacred covenant between two persons, made in the presence of God and the community of faith. The marriage ceremony and the couple's relationship must adhere to both the guidelines of The Episcopal Church and the legal requirements of the state of California.
All weddings celebrated at St. Paul’s are marriage liturgies of the Episcopal Church. In general, clergy of this congregation officiate, although in certain special situations, other clergy may be invited to officiate. Most weddings are held in the church building; however, it is possible to consider arrangements at another location. It is not possible to rent the church building for services of other traditions.
Scheduling
Although weddings are typically not celebrated during the seasons of Lent or Advent (except in cases of urgent need) weddings can be scheduled in most times of the year, provided that the church calendar is free and a priest is available. Please contact the church office to discuss an exact day and time. Usually, you will want to do this at least six to twelve months in advance. We cannot schedule weddings less than three months in advance except in a case of emergency. Weddings are scheduled only tentatively until after the couple’s first conversation with the priest, when the date can be confirmed.
How do we prepare?
All couples being married in the Episcopal Church are required to participate in four sessions of premarital counseling with a clergy person or with a licensed premarital counselor. The couple must meet with the clergy person for the purpose of getting acquainted, going over the marriage process, answering questions, and planning the details of the service. The couple is asked to reflect on your reasons for marrying and the spiritual dimensions of marriage. Most meetings can be done via zoom when in person is not an option. We also ask the couple to attend Sunday services at St. Paul’s during this time of preparation, so you can get to know our community, and our community can meet you. (In cases where one or both partners do not live locally, this can be adapted so that you’re visiting a local Episcopal church near you.) Finally, a rehearsal is always scheduled, usually the day before the wedding service. All members of the wedding party are required to attend (please take this into account when making travel plans). Physically walking through the marriage liturgy beforehand helps reduce anxiety and frees us up to be fully, prayerfully present to the event itself.
The Marriage Service
All weddings at St. Paul’s are celebrated according to the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer or the additional rites from supplemental volumes (such as I Will Bless You and You Will Be a Blessing). The rites contain considerable flexibility, although the vows themselves cannot be rewritten. At least one reading from Scripture will always included. Friends or family members may be invited to do the readings or lead the Prayers of the People.
The Holy Eucharist, or Communion, is a standard part of the marriage service and is recommended when both partners are Christian. All baptized Christians, of any age or denomination, are invited to receive Communion in the Episcopal Church. In cases where one partner or most of the guests are from another faith tradition (or no faith tradition), it may be appropriate to celebrate the wedding without the Eucharist.
Music at St. Paul’s is usually led by our Director of Music. When other musicians are invited to play in place of our Director of Music, a “bench fee” of $100 is required, to be paid by the couple being married. Music must be appropriate for a worship service. We can help you choose hymns and arrange for soloists, instrumentalists, etc. if you wish.
Guest clergy (Christian or otherwise) may participate in the ceremony at the officiating priest’s invitation. Depending on the situation, they might lead the prayers, preach the homily, or pronounce a blessing.
Our Parish Administrator coordinates all aspects of your use of the church’s facilities, including a reception if it is held in our Parish Hall. Couples sometimes hire a wedding planner to handle overall details. It is important to discuss your plans for decorations and setup with our Parish Administrator.
St. Paul’s seats 115 people comfortably, with a maximum capacity of 135. There is ample street parking adjacent to the church in the neighborhood. Limited facilities are available for dressing and preparation of the wedding party if you wish to use them.
Flowers and decorations must be coordinated with St. Paul’s Altar Guild. Only approved decorations can be used. In general, florists are welcome to furnish floor baskets or sprays on stands that can be taken after the ceremony. If you wish to have flowers behind the altar, these are arranged by the church’s Altar Guild and remain in the church after the wedding. Every effort is made to provide the flowers and style of your choice. The price of the altar arrangement will depend on the size and type of flowers you suggest. For safety reasons, throwing rice, birdseed, etc. is not permitted.
Photography is permitted; however, flashes may not be used during the service. Video recording is also permitted, but it is the responsibility of the wedding party to arrange and manage. Photographers and videographers should plan to check in with the clergy person before the ceremony and may not be intrusive during the ceremony. Additional photos and videos may be taken after the ceremony.
The couple is responsible for obtaining a wedding license (from any county clerk in the state of California). Please bring the license to the rehearsal so the priest can prepare it and hold it for safekeeping until the time of the service. The couple, witnesses, and priest sign the license and the church registry immediately after the service, before taking photos.
